Monday , 14 October 2019

welcome

Hi, my name is Ross Turetsky, nickname "DJ Roscoe" from my college radio DJ days, and I'm a young stand-up comedian originally from New York City, now living in the Electric City, Scranton, PA, the home of TV's "The Office!" I've been performing comedy for the last 4 years and I perform all over the place, locally in Scranton/Wilkes Barre at the Wise Cracker's comedy club, in Philadelphia at the Helium Comedy Club, and in my original hometown of New York City at the Broadway, Gotham, New York, Greenwich Village, Village Lantern, and Stand Up NY comedy clubs. It's such a fun adrenaline rush writing up the jokes and performing them in front of such amazing audiences. I hope you like some of my jokes, and thanks for all the support, I really appreciate it!

My latest Jokes

The Sperminator Strikes Again!

 Here's my impression of the great "Governator" himself Arnold Schwarzenegger as he broke the news a few years ago to his dear old wife Maria Shriver about his "little" mistake with him and his favortie cleaning lady.

(Spoken in Schwarzenegger's famous trademark thick Austrian accent):

I'm so sorry for cheating on you Maria with our Spanish cleaning lady and having a cute little junior baby with her, you must believe me, I'm the Kindegardten Cop after all! Oh no Maria get down, get to the chopper, the sperminator between my legs is on the loose again and about to let one rip like the cute little horsey Sea Biscuit! Cover your eyes my darling, I feel a Total Recall of my spunk juice! Oh no Maria, it's too late, there she blows!!! The streams are crossing like Twins! Tinkle all the Way! I'm so sorry pussy cat, I guess I truly am the marriage party pooper. Take 2 and call me in the morning. My bad Maria, but I guess our 25-year marriage is officially Terminated, but hey on the bright side, at least it's not a Tumor, Tumor!! Maria, don't say Hasta La Vista to our marriage, I love you, I need you, oh by the way watch my movie "Expendables 3" in a theater near you this summer, be there or be square, it's the movie of the century! I'm sorry, where was I, Maria I love you so much, I need you, take me back!!! I promise I'll be back!! Maria!!!

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DJ Roscoe

DJ Roscoe

The Ramblings of a Demented Genius!
Scranton, PA
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